imagine.

Darn. This is really troublesome. I was talking to weishen about our life in RJC, and seems like things aren't as carefree as I thought it to be.

I really really love waterpolo. And so joining it in RJC is definitely a must. But there are a lot of things that come along in this package too. It will mean that I have to train 1, 3, 5 a week, plus I will be dead beat most of the time. I'm pretty sure I'd be able to take it, but that means a big committment to this beloved CCA of mine.

In jc1, I will probably not be able to make it to the A Div team, because of the sheer size of the entire team. Out of so many people, plus 2 DSAs (ACS Barker and ACSI captains both are coming in); realistically speaking, I don't think I will make the cut. So that means that in jc1, my life will be blank.

In jc2, there is about an 80% chance that I'll make it, considering that my batch will only have around 10 guys or so in the J2 part of the team (you need a total of 15). Perhaps another DSA from the junior batch will come in, but that makes it around 11 or 12. Still possible. But that's in jc2, plus the fact that I will just be another member of the team. No leadership posts, nothing.

You see, I have a dream that I want to pursue. I once thought that I should just slack in JC and not do anything but polo and studies, since I've already worked so hard in sec sch. But dreams don't come true easily; you need to work hard for them. I need to buff up my testimonial a little more so that I will be able to make it for the scholarships, so that I can realise my dream. It may seem kaisu, yes in fact I do think so too! But it's necessary in this world that I live in. I quote Mr Tan, it's not about doing what you want to, but doing what you have to. In this case, I have to do it so that I can get what I want in life. It's not like I am unable to do it; in fact I find that I have the most experience in handling such things as compared to most of my peers.

So, I'm looking at councillors now. The very word that comes to my mind: saikang warrior. After 4 years, I am going to repeat it for another 2 years. It really won't be easy, but I have to do this. It will put major strains on my life, but this is the way it is, no matter how crappy it sounds. I am pretty confident I have the support from a good number of my friends, but do I want to do it? From the bottom of my heart, I don't want to. I know myself well enough, and this totally doesn't coincide with the Prefect's pledge and/or the pledge of the Councillors. At the same time, my polo trainings will suffer; I really have to talk to Brandon about this. I'm confused.

Yet, it turns out that this world is cold and cruel. You either fight for what you want, or you will just totally lose out. For now, I'm going to try for a spot with the Councillors next time, so I'll need your support alright? ^^ but I still need to talk to my seniors. meh. see yaa.

1:42 PM