imagine.

unless you really wanna see an emo side of me, don't bother reading this.

Let's see. What have i been doing this hols? I have been skating, teaching skating, i learnt how to play tennis, i worked at Bibi and Baba, i went for training, half of it at least, i played computer games. That's a pretty short list huh. so if you chuck away all of the above, i was doing nothing at home, with the exception of the last one.

look, i know you read this blog. you stay in the room next to mine, and i know you read this blog, since i was in sec 1. you say you know about my life sometimes. yeah. you know my friends and what they do. but do you know me? i tell you, you don't know me. tell me, do you know what i like to eat? hm? what i like to do? what i like to read? to study? haha.

and then you come to me, telling me i'm a wasted guy sitting there stoning my life away. you know what, although i don't talk much, i agree with you totally. but is there anything i can do about it? i've been trying. i got a job to occupy myself, and try to go for the shifts as much as possible. i want to go out, but everyone's overseas. who is there to go out with? seriously, dammit everyone's overseas, and i'm stuck in my own home all day long; so i try to burn my time.

books. yeah books. i know, reading books can help me kill time too. but look, all the books that you guys read aren't the books that i read. what the hell man, can you OPEN your eyes and look at me closer? I am a frickin 16 year old adolescent, a teenager. A person who still wants to enjoy his life while he still can, before his world turns all dark and screwed up with all kinds of problems; like your world. so you shove all the current affairs books in my face and tell me to read them. hey look okay, i like reading thriller books, and not those that you throw at me. and stop telling me they are good for me because they help in GP, because i don't LIKE them, just like how you wouldn't like a particular brand or sth. it's ME. maybe when i grow older i might like them, but for now, i really truly don't have any interest in them. and i really really wanted to buy a book from times the other day we were at robinsons. but i want to save for dad too, because i've been spending a lot on stuff too. please, stop telling me to read your books.

so i don't have books to read. watch the tv? i'm telling you straight. i have no interest in watching the tv. i don't see any point in trying to follow idiot drama serials that you do. why do you think i flip open to the Life section everytime there are newspapers? i am looking for a MOVIE to watch on tv, on HBO or sth. And if there isn't then poof, okay my day's going without a movie.

so what's left for me, most obviously, is my comp. the only thing left in our house that can give me entertainment that will last is gaming. you think i really don't get sick of playing? fuck it seriously i've been playing for THREE months and dude, anyone who does that WILL get sick of anything he's doing. and i am super frickin sick of gaming already.

but what else do you want me to do? if you can book a tennis court for me to play tennis every single day, i will gladly go play everyday. if you can go to east coast everyday to exercise, i gladly will. if you shove me tons of movies to watch everyday, i'll gladly do it too. if my friends were all around and i could go out everyday, i will, you know. but i don't want to spend that kind of money fooling around outside all the time too because it's hard for dad to earn money at his age.

then you shouted at me just now, telling me to do something else. then what? you guys all went out, leaving me stuck at home again. ironic huh. i try to sms people, and they lag really badly, but i understand. i try to go online to talk to people, but everybody i can talk to comfortably isn't around, because they are all either overseas, working, or with their family, or with their closest clique of friends.

you really think i want to stick around at home all day doing nothing but play? shit man i don't talk much to you, but i'm not some crazy kiddo who doesn't know how to do anything else or think logically. it's that i really have ZERO, NOTHING else to do.

and seriously, stop asking me to start STUDYING. yeah yeah i know, all of you will say, i won't want to end up like the both of you next time. again, can you open your eyes and look again? i want to enjoy my life while i can now, while i still go to school in a uniform, while i still don't have to face all the shit that you have to now.

sheesh.

4:31 PM