imagine.

It's been just a few weeks, and I now find myself in a spot completely different from where I was before. It's scary how things change so quickly. I've found a new CCA, new friends, and a new beginning. When I manage to spend that few minutes with my old friends, I know how sad it is, because we both know deep down in our hearts that we have drifted. We do not talk like how we did anymore, but we cannot do anything about it. And so off we go, walking in different directions, towards the new chapter of our lives.

I had a plan in mind. The plan that will make sure that I will have no regrets, and to make sure that I will be happy. So far, I don't think I'm really happy. I have been asking myself why.

I think firstly, it's really because I haven't gone skating in so damn long. 6 weeks. That's living hell. I'm not kidding nor exaggerating when I say I feel super shitty cos of this. One of the things that have more or less stayed constant in my life since I was small is skating. Life has already taken so many things away from me. But just not this, please. I don't think I'm ready to give up skating. It's hard to describe; when I'm skating, I feel the life flowing into me, like I'm reborn all over again. It's almost like visiting an old friend. I get the exact same feeling as I did many years ago. It never changes. And that gives me a peace of mind, because I'd know that I'm still the same boy on the inside. Carefree. Without a worry. Haha. Well another morbid thought I had was - i used to think, if I were to crash and die while skating, and if there were such things as spirits, my spirit will forever be lingering around east coast, never to leave. I think, that hasn't changed at all. I'm gonna skate this weekend again, finally. Call me a skate-freak for all you want. I am one. Skating's my life.

And the next is a scary thought. A few days ago, I have suddenly been wondering if I am truly a science student. Well for one, I know I really do love chemistry quite a lot. I enjoy my chemistry lessons, if not for the fatigue. But for bio... I don't know if I have been forcing myself to like biology all this while. I suddenly have doubts. Would I have been more happy if I took history? I'm not really sure anymore. But not like I can do anything about it. Thus it remains a thought. Hope it goes away.

The third reason.. it's something I cannot write here, unfortunately. But it really sucks.

Fortunately, life has thrown back at me some other good things. Like my awesome buddy ^^ and classmates who are really cool! Oh well. I guess I'll just have to cherish every moment as it comes along.

And dude, I really miss you. Please come back into my life soon.

Well for now I guess it's really just my skates, and myself. And my buddy too haha. So long, my blog ^^

This is the first day of the future.

9:09 PM