imagine.

hello my long lost friend. it's been a while since i've updated you. if blogs were material things, then you will be covered in layers and layers of dust by now haha. i guess for now it's just you and me, since i doubt anyone actually reads you anymore. i don't even do that, for one. it's half-time, and during half-time, you sit down, take a good look at the things around you and catch your breath. and i think you are my only teammate for now haha.

i was told, quite some time ago, that people change when JC comes. i didn't believe it at first, but now i do. many of my friends have changed. i think i have changed. i've lost my humour, maybe drive, amongst other things. and sometimes i just wonder if it's even change at all. maybe we just revealed who we are, underneath. but i think i've gained more things - foresight, focus, and some sense.

i've grown numb to this environment. first it was sadness, then horror, then disappointment, and i guess now it's numbness, and next... i think it's just a matter of being happy and facing it. life, to me, seems like a continuous cycle of forging and breaking friendships. well, the social aspect, of course. and like what my parents once told me, the only people who will actually stick to you all your life includes your family, and those few crazy people who you know really well.

it's a sad thing at first thought. your classmates, your friends. look at them, and then you ask yourself, will i still be talking to them another 4 or 5 years down the road? you never know. then it's not too bad after all. it's tiring maintaining friendships; only those that are really true manage to stay intact through time. and these are the ones which you should treasure.

haha. so i guess i'm back to square one again. i think we all have been. we are all alone, sailing through this life. like what a special friend once told me, solitude's not THAT bad a thing. it's quite fun actually. i won't have to worry about much, except for the those few people, and i can trot around the globe and go wherever i want. this place is huge; why confine yourself? that's my dream - to explore the world and see everything that i can. maybe things will change when i grow older and i might not be able to do this. oh well, but that comes later. for now i think i'll have to appreciate my busy life, because i don't want to be looking back at my JC life and remembering days spent mugging books in a library or in my small room. 2 years only; a quarter has just flown past. another 3/4 to go!

oh oh. but don't worry friend, i THINK i might still come back and update you even when i'm 30 or 40 years old. that is if the Internet still exists at that time haha :P right then. back to work. see ya ^^

6:37 PM