imagine.

Hello blogg.

It's been a really long time! well many many things happened, but i'm not gonna post them here, because friend, i'm unofficially abandoning you. hahaha. well that basically means that i won't be posting here anymore, at least not as often. maybe once in a reallyyy long time. but it doesn't mean that i'll just leave you out here to get devoured and torn apart by the vultures of the internet. i'm not THAT heartless. afterall, you've kept a super long archive of all my posts in the past, all the way back to sec 2. i treasure that.

the main reason for this, however, is largely because i've decided to keep a journal instead. and i guess there are many reasons why a journal triumphs a blog. firstly, i get to express myself freely. i don't have to censor myself for fear of offending anyone who's reading this. like you know sometimes when i typed posts here i felt really constipated? i just couldn't type. with a journal, i can write all the crap i want in it, and i can be who i feel i really am, without the fear of anyone commenting on that. and i don't think there's anything wrong with that, because i can safely say, not everyone is who they seem. it's just a matter of how similar that mask you hold is to the true character in you. and here, i have to be politically correct and all. sucks.

secondly, i think i spent most of the past few years of my life dwelling here as a committed net-izen. i've made friends, lost friends, got to know a lot more about friends over blogs and everything. but i realised something important - that true friends don't need to depend on reading each others' blogs, or talking over msn frequently, or tagging on one anothers' tagboards all the time. real friends are people. they are people who.. may not talk to you every single day of your life, but when they really do go out to have a meal with you every once in a while, or maybe just when you happen to sit down with them for a little while, they are people who actually talk to you, and just go on and on and on about everything that happened in the past few days when you guys weren't talking. and one person who made me realise this is my buddy. i mean, she really doesn't use her phone (hahahahah XD) cos it keeps getting stolen by ppl who wanna play on it. and she doesn't come on msn too cos she's usually doing some other stuff. but she still has a wonderful life out there, and when we do talk, after not talking for like a few weeks, we talk A LOT. call me a hypocrite, call me a liar. anything you want. because i think i made a mistake, and it's time i realised it, and made a move. and anyway, i won't lose anything just by abandoning this blog, i can still read everyone else's once in a while when i'm bored, and i can still catch up on people like bumping into them in the train (right monkey :D).

thirdly, i think i'm addicted not just to games. i'm addicted to the computer. and i think one of the first steps to solving that is to do this, so that i have one less reason to use the computer. i'm too busy to blog at a healthy rate anyway.

fourthly, i want to kinda start on a newer, and fresher page. this blog stores many emo posts, and unhappy memories. and over the past few months, i've slowly met and got to know people who showed me that life is more to than just moaning and complaining about how much you are suffering. they showed me that living a life is making the best of what you have, and being happy while you can, because really, life's too short to be anything but happy. i got that from biquan by the way. and even at the times when you have to part with friends, or even your loved ones, you've got to realise that this is cyclical. people come and go; what doesn't change is change itself. and what you can do after that, is to get on with life, and live the rest of your life happily, as long as it lasts. i want to stand up again, and remember who i was before, before all that mess. everything that i planned for and the things i wanted to achieve. and that can only come if i throw out all the self-pity and stupid cooked up cases of sorrow.

and fifth, i guess a journal is a convenient place to store all the random notes you get, like cos sometimes they are so flimsy they look like they can tear anytime, but you don't want them to tear, and you have no place to store. haha. the journal's a nice place to store them :D

so... farewell, my dark, emo friend. i leave you with this:

till the next time ^^

10:37 PM